The Power of Pause

It's a theme that has been quietly building within me over the past several months.

With everything I've experienced recently, I had two choices.

Option #1: Allow my circumstances to slow me down, feed my anxiety, and spiral into worry, panic attacks, stress, and fear. Option #2: Keep moving forward and trust that things are unfolding exactly as they should.

I've come too far to choose Option #1.

The car accident forced my life into an abrupt pause. The PTSD. The recovery. The lack of a vehicle. The loss of freedom. At the time, all I could see was what had been taken away.What I didn't realize was how desperately I needed that pause.It forced me to sit with myself. To examine my life, my decisions, my beliefs, and my desires. It gave me the opportunity to ask whether the path I was on truly aligned with the vision I had for myself. When I looked deeply enough, I realized that what I wanted most was simple:

Time freedom. Financial freedom. Financial growth. Personal freedom.

Those desires have always been there, but the pause gave me the space to acknowledge them fully. I can admit that during stressful times, I can be impulsive. The older version of myself would have rushed straight to a dealership and financed another vehicle the moment I was physically able after my accident. But this time, I didn't.

I paused.

I've heard countless stories about people finally paying off their vehicles, or getting close to doing so, only to experience an accident or major mechanical failure that forces them right back into another payment. I used to pray that I would never be one of those people. Unfortunately, I became one of them. At first, the disappointment was overwhelming. But almost as quickly as the frustration appeared, something shifted. I reminded myself that I was in a season of learning faith. And one thing I've come to understand about faith is that you don't abandon it the moment you experience what appears to be a setback. What happened to me was beyond my control. I wasn't reckless. I wasn't irresponsible. I was hit by a semi-truck. After the adrenaline settled and reality began to sink in, one of my first thoughts was this: I'm still alive.

I truly believed that the reason I walked away from that accident was because it simply was not my time to leave this earth. That realization changed me. It reminded me of how fragile life is. How quickly everything can change. Any of us can be gone in an instant.And from that moment on, I knew I no longer wanted to spend my life feeling trapped.

Not mentally.

Not financially.

Not romantically.

Not physically.

Not in any way, shape, or form.

So I made a decision. I would focus on forward movement. But not just movement for the sake of movement. Movement with purpose. I began to realize how much of my life had been spent operating on societal autopilot. Following expectations. Following patterns. Following a script that I had never consciously written for myself. And I wanted that to change.

Since then, my life has been shifting right before my eyes. One of the first shifts came through my decision not to immediately purchase another vehicle. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I didn't want to finance another car. I wanted to buy one outright.

That shift in thinking wasn't just about a vehicle. It was about freedom.

We live in a culture that constantly encourages consumption. Newer. Bigger. Better. More expensive. We're told that success is reflected in what we own rather than what we control. But the older I get, the more I question those messages. Five years is a long commitment. Life can change dramatically within five years. You can lose a job. Relocate. Experience a health crisis. Lose a loved one. Discover a new opportunity. A single event can completely alter the trajectory of your life. So why had I been making decisions as though life was guaranteed to remain the same?

I no longer wanted to approach vehicle ownership the way I always had. And funny enough, I found myself thinking about advice my mom gave me years ago when I was first stepping into adulthood. I can still hear her saying: "Jaboris, save up and buy a car with cash if you can. Thirty days comes a lot faster than you think." At the time, I understood the words. Now, I understand the wisdom. As I've gotten older, I find myself returning to those lessons more and more. Thank you, Mommy, for teaching me your wisdom, even when I wasn't ready to comprehend the impact of what you were saying. I didn't understand then. But I understand now. 

Every day, I'm taking small steps toward a different path.

And those small steps are creating changes far bigger than I ever imagined.

Doors are opening.

My perspective is expanding.

My priorities are shifting.

Most importantly, I'm creating a life that aligns with what I truly desire.

A life built on:

Time freedom.

Financial freedom.

Financial growth.

Personal freedom.

And for the first time in a long time, I feel like I'm moving in the right direction.

Forward.