I believe that strengths and weaknesses are one the same. I say it every time in an interview. Every time I say it, the interviewer always looks so puzzled, like how does that even make sense?
But think about it. A trait that most would consider a strength is that I have very high expectations for myself. This plays on my strengths because I take pride in the quality of my work, while also thinking of how to move more efficient and effective in my day. Because of this, I have always been a top performer, in my workplace and academics.
But on the other hand, because I place too much expectation on myself. I have anxiety, I'm an over-thinker, I don't like to make the same mistakes twice, and I can be harder on myself than I am on others. Thus, a strength can be a weakness depending on how you are able to regulate your thoughts and emotions. And this is where learning balance comes in. The concept of Yin/Yang at its finest.
I possess the power of passion, so I feel things deeper than most. And this causes me to feel everything. The good and the bad. A true empath. But the too much feeling can also cause me to feel numb. Most times, I feel deeply. But there are times where I can turn my emotions off, almost like a light switch, And it makes it easy for me to not feel anything at all.
I had been blocked mentally because I have been going through a period where I felt numb. My thoughts were scattered, and it made it too hard for me to put pen to paper. But, I have more recently started to let my feelings back in. I had to remind myself that I am in a Soft Girl Journey. And when I soft, I mean a journey to soften my soul. This journey is not just about loving on myself externally, but internally as well. I use this motivation to pull me out whenever I need to, or better yet, whenever I'm ready to.
This poem, The Artist, gives you a look inside my mind, when I'm in the void between feeling everything at once and feeling nothing at all.
Enjoy.
The Artist
06/10/25
My life is an Art.
An amalgamation of all the beauty of my mistakes.
It's only a beauty because I decide to see it as such.
For if not, then I become a volcano, that at any moment could erupt.
My pain is my lessons.
I channel it for strength.
My joy is my sadness.
My creativity is my madness.
Watch me too carefully and you'll see that I'm not what you think.
I'm smart and I'm caring.
I'm gentle, yet overbearing.
I'm arrogant. I'm bold.
I'm flirtatious, yet cold.
The girl whose heart is full of gold,
but feels the purest rage in her soul,
because she's tired
and wants to release control.
I'm a story thats untold,
so tightly coiled and wanting to unfold.
My only true desire is to relax, breathe, and release.
But her reflection tells her:
"Don't react.
Don't speak.
Acknowledging how you feel will only lead to your defeat.
Don't jinx it, or you will never meet the life that you seek."
And at that moment,
the happiness that she seeks becomes bleak.
This life is a rollercoaster.
Full of highs and lows,
of joys and blows,
a cycle that feels both new and old.
A past life made of toxic cycles.
Maybe a lesson to learn.
Some bridges to burn.
Some love to return.
A life full of growth and denials,
ascensions and spirals.
Eventually we all look back
and see the times we truly smiled.
Pure joy. True bliss.
A natural euphoria that we aim to reach,
but near miss.
But it's never enough for the over-achiever.
So, she climbs, climbs, and climbs
until she meets the life that she seeks:
A PEACE of mind.
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